Top 18 reasons why most men avoid their wives in bed at night

Tracy Obiogo
5 min readApr 24, 2021

There’s nothing more frustrating-and, truthfully, even hurtful-than when you notice your husband losing interest in sex. When he says, “I’m too tired,” or you realize he hasn’t initiated sex in several months, your mind almost immediately goes to the worst possible reasons behind it: Is he not attracted to me anymore? Is he unhappy? Is he having an affair?

“Society makes us think that it’s abnormal if a man doesn’t want sex all the time,” says New York-based couple’s therapist Cynthia Pizzulli, PhD. “So if my man doesn’t want sex all the time, something must be wrong with me. He doesn’t desire me anymore. Oh my God, it’s a catastrophe; we’re going to end up divorced.”

But the truth is, it’s normal for sexual intimacy to change over the course of any relationship, especially one that’s so long-term like a marriage. The important thing is that if you notice your husband shying away from sex more regularly and that’s negatively affecting you as a result, you should identify it as an issue together and work toward a solution.

So many Women complain about their Husbands avoiding them at night, they complaining about their Husbands going outside to meet other Women. They wonder what it is they may be doing wrong, because he never used to be like that. They would wonder what actually went wrong, why did he change that much.

Most times all these happen because the Wife changed totally, she stopped acting how she used to be and this has made some Men lose interest in their Wives.

There are different reasons why Men run from their wives at night, let’s take a look at them below:

1. She doesn’t dress well in attractive outfits and Night wear

This is a popular reason why Men avoid their wives; they find them unattractive because of this. Most Women are fond of putting on big clothes at night, and tie dirty wrapper in the bedroom. How you expect your Husband to be attracted to you when you dress in such manner, you are meant to look good for your husband all the time.
Buy beautiful night gowns, most of these ugly clothes can be a huge turn off for Men and make them avoid you.

2. She is too boring in the bedroom

This is another reason why Men avoid their Wives, because she doesn’t do anything that would excite him. She just lies there and does nothing; she doesn’t make any sound, just like a log of wood. Men do not like it when a Woman is boring in the bed room; they like Women that would make them feel good and proud about themselves.

3. She always waits for her Husband to come and meet her first

This is another reason, Most Women act like they are not interested, they always want their Husbands to make the first move and this can be a big turn off. Sometimes Men like it when their wives are in control, they want them to call them and not just wait all the time.

4. Most Women don’t like to try new and romantic things

Being boring in the bedroom is a big No, try to learn new things to spice up your relationship, there are different skills and romantic things you can learn to make your Husband happy.

5. She is Excessively Fat

This can be another turn off; when most Women get married they would stop taking care of themselves. They would just free themselves and start getting fat; this makes most Men avoid their wives.

6. She sweats a lot and do not bath at night

As a Mother you would have to do a lot of house chores, and this can cause you to sweat a lot. After all these sweating, some Women still don’t bath at night; they lie beside their husband with smelly body. This can make a Man even leave the bed totally for you, try bathing at night before bedtime.

7. She complains too much

This is one of the biggest reasons men start to lose affection for their wives. It’s no surprise that it’s way more enjoyable to be around someone who’s positive and understanding than it is to be with someone who’s complaining about every single thing. Because at the end of the when you come home after a long day, the last thing that you want to hear is your wife screaming and complaining.

In the initial stage of a relationship you tend to ignore or not see your partner’s flaws, after some time when the spell wears off, the fights and arguments surface. Being naggy and complaining all the time to see his makeup to you might have been romantic and fun as his high school sweetheart but no one will want an annoying critic at their butts every time they get home.

So the ladies out there need to practice making their men feel welcomed when they get home instead of tormenting them out of their homes and eventually out of their lives.

8. Change in personalities

As sad as it sounds its true the people change over time — which is not a bad thing by any means but sometimes it can be fatal for a marriage. Because as a man starts to feel like his partner is changing, he thinks that he is losing the person he once loved. New experiences bring about new perspectives and they might not always agree with what your partner stands for.

It is important to let your partner know that no matter how much you might change, you will always love them the same. Keeping your relationship constant is the toughest task for a marriage to work.

9. Man under Medications

Antidepressants (SSRI-type) and antihypertensive (blood pressure medication) is often the culprit when a man has a lowered interest in sexual activity. These can also cause sexual dysfunction.

10. Man Lacks of sleep

When a man is in his teens or twenties, the opportunity to have sex will often overwhelm the desire to sleep. This is often true also when a relationship is brand new. But, as people and relationships age, sex can lose its compelling nature and a good night’s rest can be quite tempting.

11. Hormonal levels

Originally published at https://fashionafric.com on April 24, 2021.

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